I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and aunt, a teacher, a scrapbooker, a kidschurch server, a small group leader, a parent governor, white, female and lots of other things.
These things are very important (some more than others) but they do not define my identity. My identity is a child of God. This is the only identity that offers full and eternal security. This is the only identity that will never ever change, no matter who dies; no matter if I get old and sick; no matter if I lose my job or house or all my money; no matter what.
If I was single and had no kids and was unemployed would I still be myself? Yes. I am and always will be, no matter what my circumstances, a child of God. This is the only relationship that will never change or end, my relationship with my Father in Heaven.
This is the relationship that I base all of my foundations on. If I based my foundations on my husband, what happens if I get divorced or he dies? Will that be the end of Alex? No. Of course it would be terrible, but I would still be the same Alex, the same child of God.
If I lose my mental faculties and can no longer work or write will I lose my identity? No. God will still love me. God will still be my father. I will still live with him forever in Heaven when I die, with a new body and mind that work perfectly.
That doesn't mean that I take my family or other blessings from God for granted. In fact I thank him for them every day. He really has blessed me in so many ways.
Bad things have happened and will happen in my life, and of course they are not easy and I will not be happy about them. When I was struggling with PND, I asked God if he was punishing me. But through everything, I trusted him and knew that I was still a child of his. I had depression; my life was difficult; I thought 'they' would take away my baby. But depression did not define me. It did not change my identity. My foundations are set on the rock of Christ and do not change, no matter how terrible the circumstances of my life.
It's so easy to fall into the trap of basing your identity on what you do or who you are in relationship with or your health or other things. The trouble is that if we base our selves and happiness on them, they will let us down one day. Also they will be our idols- more important to us than God. That's a dangerous place to be.
I'm not saying I've got this all sorted. Too many times have I based my hope on other people's perceptions of me, and too many times have I been let down by them. I am learning that actually what other people think doesn't really matter- what really matters is what God thinks.
Rich or poor; black or white; young or old; well or sick; married or single; a parent or childless; educated or illiterate- these are things that the world uses to define people and put them into order of importance. God does not do this. He loves us no matter what.
So God created humans in his own image. He created them to be like himself. He created them male and female.
John 1 1:12-13
They believed in him, and he gave them the right to become children of God. They became God’s children, but not in the way babies are usually born. It was not because of any human desire or plan. They were born from God himself.
Since you are now God’s children, he has sent the Spirit of his Son into your hearts. The Spirit cries out, “ Abba, Father.”